Have you ever had a bad feeling toward someone? because he or she did something wrong to you or did something bad to your family member? You want to forgive him, but you still remember what he did to you.You haven't spoken to him/her for a while? You've been blaming him/her? Or some one had upset or hurt your feelings. You are angry at him/her/them.
Forgiveness signifies overlooking the offence and sin of a person who has purposefully or mistakenly done you wrong, such as insulting you by his words, beating you up or exacting your property. Ignoring all these issues and not committing this wrong called "forgiveness".
The Qur'an and the Hadith teach us that we have to forgive others (especially those who hurt us the most) if we wish to earn the forgiveness of Allah on the day of judgment. Whatever he/she did to you or to your family member, he wronged you. He deceived you. He backbited you. He lied to you, to make you feel good you must forgive him/her. Forgiveness is linked with piety and God-consciousness, is there anybody who is not without sin? Is there anybody who can be arrogant enough to say that he does not need to forgive?
Some might say that to forgive is a sign of weakness and humiliation, and for them it is better to be strong and preserve their honor. But honor in the eyes of Allah lies in forgiveness. They say that it's so difficult to forgive what he has done to me or to my family.
If we look at the example and the character of the Prophet SAW we can see that he was always forgiving and never showed enmity to anyone except those who waged war against him.
There was an old lady who used to throw rubbish in his way every day, on one occasion she did not throw rubbish in the street, so he decided to go and see what was the matter.
She was ill in bed, to her amazement, the Messenger of Allah SAW came to see her and find out about her. She accepted Islam.
This is the example of the man whom we claim to follow. Thumamah, as the chief of his tribe had killed many Muslims. On his travels, he was caught by the Muslim soldiers and was taken to the Prophet's masjid and tied to one of the pillars.
The Messenger of Allah SAW commanded his companions to untie him and give him the best food. The Messenger of Allah SAW was indeed a mercy for the worlds.
We should similarly be merciful with each other. First of all, we ourselves should not do anything to upset our brothers and sisters (because this is in itself a part of mercy) and then we should forgive those who have upset us or made us angry. We will never be a strong ummah if we are not able to forgive.
Human beings are not perfect nor were they meant to be. Therefore forgiveness as an interhuman ethic is a mandatory value and an important virtue. Common sense tells us that the more people are guided by their forgiving nature the happier they are, whether at the individual, familial, social, national or international level. Islam emphasizes forgiveness and enjoins on its followers to be forgiving for as much as they yearn to be forgiven.
And we know that Allah Himself is Ar-Rahmaan (the Most Compassionate) and Ar-Raheem (the Most Merciful) and that His Mercy is infinite, and that no matter the sin (except shirk)
"Those who spend (freely) whether in prosperity or in adversity, who restrain anger, and who forgive (all) people, for God loves those. who do good." Quran (3:134)
The Prophet SAW once asked his companions; "Do you know what will cause you to have high walled palaces in Paradise (as a symbol of great reward) and will cause you to be raised by God?"
When they replied in the negative, he said, "To be forgiving and to control yourself in the face of provocation, to give justice to the person who was unfair and unjust to you, to give to someone even though he did not give to you when you were in need and to keep connection with someone who may not have reciprocated your concern."
Similarly the Prophet SAW said that: "the best of people are those who are slow to get angry and quick to forgive. On the other hand the worst of people are those, he said who get angry quickly but are slow to forgive".
The characteristic that makes a person most likely to forgive is the purity of his or her heart. Apologies must be accepted,
The Prophet SAW said that: "Whoever apologizes to his brother and that apology is not accepted, then the person who refuses to accept the apology bears the sin of one who takes the property of another unjustly."
And the Prophet SAW also said that: "The doors of the Garden are open on Monday and Thursday. Every Muslim slave who does not associate anything with Allah is forgiven except for the man who has enmity between him and his brother.
It is said, 'Leave those two until they have made a reconciliation. Leave those two until they have made a reconciliation" .
If we are to be really strong then we have to be strong against Shaytaan and forgive our brothers and sisters, and in this way maybe Allah will decide, insha Allah, to forgive ourselves for our many mistakes.
Islam emphasizes justice and punishment of the wrong doers, but it equally strongly emphasizes mercy, kindness and love. Justice, law and order are necessary for the maintenance of a social order, but there is also a need for forgiveness to heal the wounds and to restore good relations between the people. We must keep in mind that as much as we need Allah’s forgiveness for our own sins and mistakes, we must also practice forgiveness towards those who do wrong to us.”
We cannot expect Allah’s forgiveness unless we also forgive those who do wrong to us. Forgiving each other, even forgiving one’s enemies is one of the most important Islamic teachings. In the Qur’an Allah has described the Believers as “those who avoid major sins and acts of indecencies and when they are angry they forgive.” (QS. ash-Shura 42: 37) Later in the same Surah Allah says, “The reward of the evil is the evil thereof, but whosoever forgives and makes amends, his reward is upon Allah.” (QS. al-Shura 42: 40) In another place the Qur’an says, “If you punish, then punish with the like of that wherewith you were afflicted. But if you endure patiently, indeed it is better for the patient. Endure you patiently. Your patience is not except through the help of Allah.” (QS.an-Nahl:126-127)
Once you forgive someone, then forget it.
Abu Naim mentioned a Hadith or a tradition from Ali Ibn al-Hussein about the merit of forgiveness saying: "On the Day of Judgment a caller will say: 'Who amongst you are the people of kindness?' Then some people stand up. It is then said to them: 'Go into Paradise'. The Angels meet them and ask them: "Where to"? They reply: "To Paradise". The Angels say: "Before being judged"? They reply: "Yes". The Angels ask: "Who are you?" They reply: "We are the people of kindness". The Angels ask: "And what was your kindness?" They reply: "We used to be clement when oppressed and be patient when agressed and forgive when offended". The Angels then say: "Enter Paradise how excellent a reward for the (pious good) workers!" .
